Alley
by Uyuki
Summary: WARNING, CONTAINS HBP SPOILERS. Situated at the end of chapter 28, a look into Snape's feelings after what happened.


**Disclaimer:** The characters are not mine and apparently they'll never be. Rowling is the owner of them, I'm only borrowing them because of my idleness and when the muse is inspired. I warn you, English is not my mother tongue, so if you see any spelling mistake or grammar mistake don't be so harsh, I'm doing my best, but I'll never be as good in English as I'm in Spanish.

**SPOILERS** OF "HALF-BLOOD PRINCE", SO IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS YOU CAN STILL CLICK IN THE "BACK" BUTTON AND SEARCH ANOTHER STORY (You are warned, I wont accept any complaint telling me that I ruined the book for you)

You're still here? Perfect!

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**Alley **

**by Uyuki**

_I'm sorry._

When Severus managed to teleport himself outside he remain still for a moment trying to catch his breath before continuing the escape. He was sure that the Minister had being called and that Potter wouldn't hesitate in telling everything he knew - shortly they will be looking for him.

_I didn't want to do it – I really didn't._

A few minutes later, his breathing started to normalized again, Draco was safe and with some luck he might be away from the Dark Lord. Everything have seemed like a terrible nightmare, but Severus was conscious that all had been true.

_Why did you force me? - Why? _

He kept running until he felt safe, away from any human soul, any person and definitely away from Hogwarts. His sould couldn't bear it anymore.

_Everything is lost – everythin. What good was that you died? Things ain't gonna be better for anyone, much less for your so love Potter. I'm sure that now he'll only be thinking about killing me._

The thoughts that kept popping into his mind were awful, but they weren't worse than the vivid images of minutes ago. Dumbledore infront of him asking… no; begging him to kill him – killing him in order for Draco to avoid any harm, in order that he wouldn't die for breaking his Vow, in order that no more lifes were stolen by the Dark Lord.

Dumbledore knew exactly what he had asked for. He gave up his life to save thousands more – and Severus was the one who needed to obey that last command. The last command of the headmaster.

He remembered clearly how his mouth summoned the Unforgivable Course, killing the only person that had protected him and that had believed every single word without a shadow of hesitation in his face.

Severus knew the consequences of his actions, he didn't need much logic to guess them anyway. He had killed Albus Dumbledore, the best wizard ever know by many, apparently under the Dark Lord's commands. The sentence – Azkaban, and possibly the Dementors kiss.

But he knew that _that_ hadn't been his mentor wish – no. Dumbledore wouldn't have let anyone kill him so easily without having a last card to play and without being sure that it will work.

Eventually, Potter should know everything he needed to know to kill the Dark Lord, otherwise none of this would have happened. Dumbledore had managed somehow and that why he didn't care about it anymore.

And he was also sure that he himself had something to do with all of that, because, eventhough his consequences will be terrible because the trust the teachers had on him was lost, as his job in Hogwarts and his posicion of Dumbledore's man, the headmasterl didn't let him die.

As that had being his first option, just as he had told the headmaster that afternoon in which they both ended up yelling to each other.

Severus had told him that he would take Draco away from the Dark Lord so that he couldn't find him, of course without killing Dumbledore – and that he would face the consequences, even if those were loosing his life on His hands.

_You didn't let me… you didn't consent it, you didn't even bare the idea of listening to it._

That suggestion had risen a very uncommon rage in Dumbledore, a rage that he never let anybody see, not even in the worst of cases so Severus had realized how serious the issue was and how deeply ir affected the headmaster.

The matter was brought to an end in a few minutes. Dumbledore ordered him to kill him, no excuses or pretexts… even if Severus didn't undersand the whole. He had a promise to keep, a promise that if broken would cost his own life and probably Draco's and Narcissas' life… as well as Lucius', even though he was in Azkaban.

_Your life for theirs. You were always like that. What did you see in me when I asked you for help, for an opportunity that no-one else gave me? _

He could still remember how bad he had felt when he knew that Lily Evans had being killed by his Master, he felt guilty for her death, because in the end, it was he who told the Dark Lord part of the prophecy he heard that night… never thinking that his master would immediately attack the person Severus himself loved in his teenage years.

If he could remember correctly, it was one of the few times that a tear escaped from his eyes to roll over his cheeks, his nature was proud, he would never let anybody see his grief, even when he was devastating in the inside.

Now, after so many years, another tear was falling silently through his face, because of Dumbledore's dead by his own bare hand.

_It's pointless._

Everything was done, and nothing could be done to solve it out. Waiting was the only thing left.

Waiting to see if he could go back to Hogwarts sometime and probe that he wasn't a traitor, much less a Deatheater and that everything done was under the consentment… and direct order of the headmaster

Waiting for the teachers and the Order to forgive him.

Wait for them to believe what he had to say, to believe his story, the truth. His regret.

Wait that Potter was intelligent enough to listen to Granger, which was the only one with remote possibilities to discover what really happened… and if not, wait that he was intelligent enough to listen to him if someday he decided to tell him what happened, whether for necessity or not.

Hope that he could live to forgive himself.

_I am really sorry._

Another tear went down his pale cheek, silently, while the song of a Phoenix was heard from beyond.

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So there it is, I seriously hope is not that bad written, as I said, english is not my mother tongue (I wrote it in Spanish originally, so it should be way much better that way, you can read it if you know spanish). 

I only wanted to give a try to my translation skills (which apparently are not very good right now), I'll keep practicing, and I really appreciate every sort of constructive criticism.


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